How to say what, when to talk vs. hitting send

Recently I received a voicemail about a business opportunity. The caller invited me to either call back or send them an email to set up a meeting. I called. It wasn’t as simple as the phone being closer than my computer. Certainly, in our smart-phone immersed world I could just as easily do either. CallingContinue reading “How to say what, when to talk vs. hitting send”

The Confrontation Obligation -or- Yes, you really do need to say it.

I can’t remember what it was exactly. Some perceived conflict between the other therapist and I. For story-telling purposes we’ll call her J-Diddy. There were only two then. I’m sure I was certain I was right. I’m sure I was certain J-Diddy was wrong. There was likely an ethical imperative to the situation (You know,Continue reading “The Confrontation Obligation -or- Yes, you really do need to say it.”

The TARDIS arrives, a Dr. Who metaphor on navigating healthy conflict

I’m sitting in a parking lot outside the Alamo movie theater waiting for Max’s friend’s Detective Pikachu birthday party to wrap up. I’ve been sitting in my car reading the first chapters of Patrick Lencioni’s book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business. I started at Krispy Kreme with the intention ofContinue reading “The TARDIS arrives, a Dr. Who metaphor on navigating healthy conflict”

Between values, gender and identity development in kids (my rad kid especially)

We are parked before going into the Food Lion, my quick-witted fantastical child and I. I am trying to navigate the territory of self with my youngest, to support their exploration. I am explaining spectrums. I hold up my two hands. “Say this one, the one on the left, is all the way feminine andContinue reading “Between values, gender and identity development in kids (my rad kid especially)”

Welcome to my house: How I met the world from the comfort of my home.

We had moved for my graduate program. My family: irreverent, wickedly humorous, sci-fi/fantasy loving, non-religious, diversity-welcoming goofballs that we are found our selves in the South. My husband and I had grown up in the south of Virginia and Maryland, but not this kind of South. This was the openly racial-slur dropping, homophobic, gun-loving SouthContinue reading “Welcome to my house: How I met the world from the comfort of my home.”

“Please go away,” an inadequate response to gentrification coffee-drinkers

She handed me two dollars across the counter, smiled, pulling her lips back across her  perfect teeth, and asked me if I was from here. I raised my eyebrows. “I’m from the next county to the south, but there are no jobs there. You?” She was from Long Island, but my asking wasn’t necessary. EveryoneContinue reading ““Please go away,” an inadequate response to gentrification coffee-drinkers”

Outside of cages, the other side of righteous anger

Anger is: A natural response to injustice A transitory stage of grief Sometimes safer than sadness or vulnerability Considered a secondary emotion All of the above I find that when “all of the above” is offered on a multiple choice it is usually a safe bet. In fact, William Poundstone asserts in “Rock Paper Scissors:Continue reading “Outside of cages, the other side of righteous anger”

Exercising intention through Easter Eggs

When all the boys came to the yard, lured in by anticipation of milkshakes, they knew about Easter Eggs. They expected something good might happen. For those that have forgotten, or just didn’t have context for the expression, an Easter Egg is a delightful little surprise. Programmers often tuck them into video games. Rather thanContinue reading “Exercising intention through Easter Eggs”

Leaving “bitch” behind

How many women’s relationship with the word “bitch” is a complicated one? I’d love to have a show of hands. The complexity of my relationship starts in adolescence, “Hey, bitches!” just as easily spilling out of my lips as, “Hey, girl!” Hugs, makeup, loud music, illicit parties, shoes to match the car (really). At timesContinue reading “Leaving “bitch” behind”

Is Vulnerability weakness or superpower?

What’s your superpower? I’ve got two kids. My daughter is a force of nature, a bundle of fearless energy. She has never met a stranger and would throw caution to the wind, but never had any caution to begin with. Her willingness to be all in all the time is her superpower. My son isContinue reading “Is Vulnerability weakness or superpower?”